Sponsorship available

I love competitive sports and since I am not getting any younger I am considering competing in this years Pan Am games. After looking over the competition in the different events I think my best chance is the high diving competition. It looks easy, safe and fun. Launching from the three-metre springboard I would perform a dizzying combination of flips and twists, somersaults and rotations in both pike (legs straight) and tuck (legs pulled close to the body) positions while trying to get extra points based on the level of difficulty and execution. Of course I would ensure the splashing would be non existent. Check out my competition, and take notice of the scores awarded. Now, who wants to sponsor me and have their company name prominently displayed on my outfit? I think I have a pretty good chance to tie these guys.
http://www.tsn.ca/video/must-see-epic-fail-by-diving-splash-brothers-1.305683