Signs

Have you noticed how many strange signs are posted everywhere. When driving to the airport in New York I noticed a sign on the highway "Low Flying Planes". What exactly is that sign's purpose? How low are these planes flying? 
 I was walking in my neighborhood this week and I noticed a sign on the front lawn of a home,
 " beware of invisible fence". Really? Is there such a thing? 
                             And finally a sign from a local pharmacy. Soak up the savings!

"To be or not to be"

I was in New York City this week to celebrate Canada Day. I really do Love New York, the lights, the people, the shows, the restaurants and the wonderful neighborhoods.
A great part of New York is Central Park. Hansom Cab rides, the zoo, walking trails, bike rentals, the old castle, lakes, boating.... and did you know there is also a theatre with free shows? As I was walking through the park there was a huge lineup to see a show. People were in line with sleeping bags, pillows, food...they looked like they were lined up for hours and maybe even days. Of course I had to know what great show they were in line for, after all this is New York, "Broadway" where every show is a jewel. So I asked one of the people in line what show he was waiting for and he excitedly told me," It's a panel discussion about Shakespeare". I kept walking.

laughter

Have you ever been in a situation where laughter is warranted but not acceptable. I find myself in such circumstances all too often. Maybe it is due to my lack of maturity or my occasional inappropriate sense of humour but I find myself in many situations which I consider quite humorous and others do not.
 I was at a dinner a while back when a gentleman at my table, sitting right next to me, rose from his seat to address the group of about 150. Normally I would not find this too funny however as he rose, and I remained in my seat, at my eye level and in full public view, it was obvious that his pants were not done up and peeking out of his zipper was part of his under garments. I could not laugh as I was directly to his right and all eyes of the room where either fixated on him, his zipper, or me to watch my reaction.In these situations it is so difficult to withhold laughter that you are not even able to make eye contact with anyone else because you know once you see someone else laugh or even smile you are finished. I am proud to say that I did not laugh the entire 10 minutes that he spoke. I did sweat so profusely, however, trying to withhold my laughter that I think I lost at least 3 pounds. I am sure many of us have been in these types of  situations. If this ever happens to me again I think I am just going to casually zip up his pants, give him a nice pat on the back and ask him to continue. After all If its good for the President its good for anyone.

Proper protocol?

   I was at a function recently and I bumped into a business colleague that I had not seen in quite a while. Normally I would give him a nice greeting, I would ask how he was and I may either shake his hand or go in for a man hug. But this time it was little awkward as we were both standing in the bathroom at adjacent urinals. So what does a guy do? Do I engage in conversation? Certainly I don't put out my hand or try to hug him. Do I even say hello?
   I guess the same question would arise in any public bathroom. Is one rude if he doesn't engage in conversation in a bathroom? I think a public bathroom is like going to war, get in finish your mission, get out as quickly as possibly with as little collateral damage as possible. Quite different from your private bathroom at home which is like a vacation. An oasis, alone, quiet, and no one bothering you. But what is the proper protocol in a public bathroom?

                                                    

Weak?

I was at a wedding Sunday night. As I am enjoying the wedding, sitting at a wonderful table, a friend makes his way to my table to let me know he thought my blog about Nomophobia was, as he said, weak. Weak, very weak as he repeated it a few times. He actually made the effort to come over to me to tell me he did not like my most recent blog. So I am thinking who does that? 
Can you imagine. Excuse me lady but I had to come over to tell you that your dress is weak, really weak, I really don't like it. Or, Mike I have been looking all over for you to let you know that I thought your speech yesterday was weak, very weak, I really didn't like it.
 So to my friend, I say I am sorry you felt my last bog was weak. Unfortunately I can't hit a home run with every blog for all readers. I do however hope you enjoyed this one as it is the last one I will send you. As Seinfeld would say "No Blogs for you!"  

What an...

Nomophobia

I have a friend who suffers from nomophobia. A condition brought on by being separated from one's cell phone. Although you may have thought it was anxiety from not receiving a Moe blog, No Mo Phobia. The symptoms include severe anxiety and anguish, they are actually creating a blue diamond phone shaped pill to treat this condition. It works by refocusing the patient's attention on other matters arising. So this guy forgot his cell phone at home last week. He told me he felt naked the entire day. I asked him whether he would feel worse without his pants. He wasn't quite sure. He once forgot his phone when going to a Raptors game and thought it might have been better forgetting his pants. He promised to experiment next time he goes to a game by leaving his pants at home. He must be a boxer guy. Also wondering where he will hang his phone.


lending their phones

Raccoons

  Raccoons: They are smart, they are fast and they are a huge menace.They make a mess of the garbage, they can open any pail, they are noisy at night and they can scare the hell out of you when coming out of the shadows. They also leave mounds of crap wherever they decide to make their bathroom. I hate raccoons and I hate waking up to a mess every morning!
   But they have better protection and more rights than the average citizen in Toronto and they are becoming a bigger problem by the day. The city says that since they introduced the green bin program the raccoon population has exploded. Toronto is known as the raccoon capital of the world. The city says get used to it, they are here to stay.
    Why? Why are they here to stay? Why can't we hire someone to kill them or take them hundreds of miles away. Take them all to Algonquin park! If we had three foot rats living around our homes, eating our garbage and walking our streets at night we would create a program to get rid of them in a minute? So I don't get it, maybe some one out there can enlighten me.

Three foot rat